Next steps

We met with K, a home study provider, yesterday morning.   It was just an informational meeting, and it went pretty darn well.

For those who don’t know, a home study is the state’s evaluation of if you can adopt (you also have to do one if you want to foster).  So our state has to say “Yep- those people will make ok parents and they have an ok house. We’re fine with them adopting.”  It involves a LOT of paperwork.  Background checks from every state we have lived in since we were 18, multiple references, previous taxes, birth certificates, marriage certificates, bank statements, letters of employments, we both have to write a life store, medical exams and forms for all of us and a metric ton of forms.   Then we sit down with the home study provider and answer a lot of personal questions, as well as ones that explore our mental preparedness for international adoption.  Somewhere in there the home study provider also comes to our house and does a home safety check.

The whole thing feels very judgy to me.  I do understand that the government wants to make sure that adoptive parents are not child abusers, and that they are prepared to adopt.  It is in everyone’s best interest for adoptions to be final and to minimize disruptions.  So don’t get me wrong, I think home studies are necessary.  I just don’t like feeling like I’m being scrutinized.

So we met with K yesterday morning.  She was very nice, professional, informative and calming.   We will be using her for our home study, which should take 6-8 weeks from when we sign up and start.

One of the things we loved about K was her LACK of judgyness.  I’ve been contacting a lot of home study providers over the past 6 weeks or so.  I’ve gotten varied responses to my inquiries.   Some have just not returned my contact email or call.  Some think we are very young to adopt, others have really been discouraging about international adoption and have tried to guide us to change our minds and go foster adopt or domestic infant.  And a few were just exorbitantly expensive, as in almost double the going rate.

K is totally comfortable with our ages and our decision to adopt from DRC.  She views her job as making sure we are prepared for the possibilities and to make sure we have evaluated our options and the possibilities.   That attitude was so refreshing.   So all in all yesterday was great!  And we’ve made one more baby step forward.

~M